Sometimes your child may be acting up or behaving as if they are confused about the choices they are supposed to make in life.
I remember a situation like that when I had to choose between studying Computer Engineering and Computer Science at the university, and I did not know the right person to meet for advice.
Having difficulty making serious life choices could be a sign of an identity crisis.
What is an identity crisis?
Collins Dictionary defines an identity crisis as “the condition of being uncertain of one’s feelings about oneself, esp. with regard to character, goals, and origins, occurring esp. in adolescence as a result of growing up under disruptive, fast-changing conditions”
How I define an identity crisis
I define an identity crisis as not knowing who you truly are and where you belong in the scheme of things — how you fit in, in this big picture called life.
An identity crisis could also be known as losing a sense of purpose.
Possible causes of losing a sense of self
- Losing a loved one
- Facing a traumatic event
- Facing a severe illness
- Having (or being a member of) a broken home
- Giving birth
- Any major unexpected change
- Changing a career path
Who is Susceptible to a Role Confusion
Although the Collins Dictionary definition above emphasizes that adolescents are more susceptible, the possible causes shown above point to the fact that just about anybody could experience it.
My Story
I wasn’t always a writer.
Or let me put it this way: I am a Computer Scientist. I wrote a little, here and there, but I wrote “in the closet”.
When I discovered that it was important for me to write for children and teens, I told people about my dream.
Many of them told me I would fail.
But I knew deep down that God put that dream in my heart.
How it affected me
I was devastated.
People whose opinions I regarded highly shot down my aspirations.
Who was I to write for children and teens with the goal to transform their character positively?
What did I know?
I’m not even a trained educator…
So, I stopped writing.
I started questioning all that I believed I was inspired to do.
I stopped working on my books and resources for children and teens.
I abandoned my author website.
I listened to the naysayers.
How Losing a Sense of Purpose can affect your Child
Children have a fragile ego.
Most teens are sensitive, even though they try to hide it.
Hearing negative words from those they care about the most could result in children and teens questioning whether they even matter to anyone — and that is dangerous.
A child or teen who feels they don’t know who they are or where they belong will experiment with all sorts of things — good or bad — in order to seek solace or find meaning in life.
What You can do to help your child to overcome the problem
Dear parent, please understand that God placed His child under your care.
You are to help your child discover their purpose, and pray for them to fulfill God’s vision for their lives.
You are not to compare one child with the other.
You may say competition is healthy, but every child is unique.
Teach your children to see themselves as God sees them, so they will have a healthy self-image.
Remember Jeremiah 1:5.